Not Everything on the Telly is Fake
by ellf
Summary: Halloween comes once more, but Buffy doesn't dress as an 18th century noblewoman, she instead finds a multicolored scarf which catches her eye...
1. Not Another

Not Everything on the Telly is Fake...

By: Ellf

* * *

Chapter One: Yet Another

Disclaimer: I own none of the series in this story.

Everyone knows the way the story's supposed to go. It's Halloween; Snyder says that everyone's supposed to find a costume. Buffy Summers becomes Lady Useless, Xander Harris becomes Soldier Boy, and Willow Rosenberg becomes a ghost. The night ends with Ethan Rayne and Rupert "Ripper" Giles having it out and the bust of Janus being smashed, returning everyone to normal. You would think, then, that such a night would be a fixed point in time, unchanging. Of course, given the variations on the night, most resulting in Xander, of all people, having powers, it's fairly obvious that the night is not a fixed point.

Most people see time as a strict progression of cause and effect. Ethan Rayne sells costumes and the Scoobies buy them. He casts a spell and the Scoobies become them. Giles manages to break the bust and things return to normal. Of course, time isn't quite that. It's more mutable. More of a ball of timey-wimey… stuff that you can just kind of tease things out of. A tiny flick here and a civilization rises four hundred years from now. Placement of a scarf there, and a girl becomes… Well, now I'm getting ahead of myself.

My name _was_ Buffy Summers. I was the Slayer. Now I am oh so much more. It's my own fault really, though I suppose I could blame Giles or Xander. I am no longer the Slayer, no longer human. Of course, you already knew that. I'm beginning to see why I've called you sexy in the past.

I suppose I should start at the beginning. Not _my_ beginning per se, but it is directly relevant to me. Well, part of me anyway. This always sounds better with a British Accent, of course, given recent events, it certainly is a lot easier for me to pull one off. Anyway, it begins as the following:

"This world is older than you know. Contrary to popular belief, it did not begin as a paradise. For eons, demons walked the earth, made it their home, their hell. In _time_ they lost their purchase on this reality and the way was made for mortal animals. For man. When the last Old One left Earth, it mixed its blood with the blood of a human, creating the first of the Vampires."

Kind of spooky if you think about it. All those prehistoric demons were walking about. Of course, humanity had to develop its own mechanism to defend itself. They managed to find a way in one of the most sickening fashions.

"Into every generation is born a Chosen One. She alone will have the strength to face the Vampires, to stand against the darkness and to stem the tide of its spread. She is the Slayer."

The creation of the Vampire Slayer is one fixed point that I regret most being unable to stop. Slayers have always been necessary on Earth. Pity that. Still, that's not where this story begins. Fast-forward a few millennia.

"Alright Joyce… push!"

Not far enough. Definitely not far enough. Seventeen years later should do it. I don't want to bloody well reminisce about my own birth. Either of them.

It was two days before Halloween where the story really started. Principal Snyder had somehow managed to get it into his head that the best way to make sure children were safe for the eve of Halloween was to have those he considered juvenile delinquents take care of them. Not for the first time, many people questioned his sanity or whether he liked kids. He managed to nail Willow, Xander and I with a sign-up at the same time. Snyder was and always would be a Napoleonic power monger.

So after being forced to sign up, we had to go get costumes. Now, the most obvious of choices for costumes would be Party Town. However, that was all the way across town, close to its edge, and there was no way I was going to as my Mom to give the three of us a ride, especially when a new costume shop opened up not far from the school. _Ethan's_ shop seemed to be a decent costume shop with a great selection when the three of us went inside.

While I looked around the shop, Willow seemed to find something right away. I figured I might as well find out. "What'd you get?"

"A time-honored classic!" It was a ghost costume. Of course it was a ghost costume.

"Wills, want some friendly advice?" Willow really needed to stand out a little more if she was going to get someone she wanted to notice her. I couldn't let her just take that.

"It's not spooky enough?" Willow sounded a little hopeful there.

"Hiding yourself isn't the answer. You're missing the whole point of Halloween." I looked around the room. Ah, there was something workable, when combined with a few things from my closet. Yeah, Wills was going to be a hottie tonight.

"Free candy?" Poor sweet naïve Willow… I was getting her to dress nice that night if I had to use some of my strength to do it.

"It's come as you aren't night, Wills. The one night a year where you can feel free to dress up and get sexy and wild without repercussions. In fact, I've got some suggestions. Ditch the Boo, and let's get you something nicer."

"But wild plus me equals spaz… this is more like a security blanket." I couldn't help but smile.

"Trust me, Wills. You've got it in you. If it makes you feel better, we'll do tastefully wild. Like a diet wild." I reassured her, placing a hand on her arm.

"But… that's not… Oh hey Xander!" Willow managed to slip my fingers for now, but I'd get her back. I'd picked out her costume already from here. In the meantime, I had a Xander-shaped friend to apologize to. "So what'd you get?" Willow continued as Xander got closer.

He pulled out a gun and a red beret. I'd recognized it from that show that Giles had on in his apartment one night I visited after patrol. I think it was some alphabet soup name or something… Still… "That's not a costume."

He looked at me and then turned to Willow. "I've got a set of fatigues from army surplus at home, and these were on sale together. Just call me the Three-Dollar Costume King, baby!"

Of course, he and Willow exchanged smiles, before I decided to interject. "Hey Xander… I'm sorry about this morning…"

I'd prevented him from getting pummeled by Larry, but I hurt his manly pride in the process.

"Do you mind? I'm trying to repress…" Xander sounded hurt.

"Okay, I'll just let you get pummeled in the future, I promise." And then it was time for the most potent weapon in the Buffy Summers friend arsenal. My pout. I pouted at him… and he relented.

"Thanks… Y'know I think I could've…" I'd zoned out at this point because I spotted the most beautiful dress. I started to approach it. "Hello! That was our touching reconciliation moment there…"

I looked back at Xander for a second to apologize, but when I turned back around, the dress itself was gone… I just saw a flash of curly red hair taking it. Of course, what was left behind was a rainbow-colored scarf. "I'm sorry Xander, I had just… seen a… never mind."

He walked up. "Oh hey, that's pretty awesome. The scarf is a costume on its own." He wasn't wrong. The scarf brought back some memories of watching rerun marathons with my mom and dad when I was younger. Tom Baker was a great actor, but I wasn't sure I wanted to dress up like him.

The shopkeeper walked over at that point, frowned for a second before taking the scarf off the mannequin. "Yes, it very much is, young man. I'm glad to see someone watches good television here in the colonies."

His accent reminded me of Giles, as he walked over to Xander. "What do you think, young man? Care to be a Doctor for the evening?"

Xander waved his gun again. "Actually, already found my costume here, but my friend here would make an absolutely cute one."

He walked over to me. I still wanted to try and impress Angel though. A noblewoman's dress would have been perfect; dressing as the Doctor? Not so much. However, he always was smart and worked well in a jam... "Actually, I was looking at that noblewoman's dress that was here… You don't have another one, do you?"

The shopkeeper shook his head. "No, but I think this scarf would look smashing on you… especially when combined with a few other things from the shop."

"I'm not sure I can afford this…" I began. Honestly, I didn't mind being convinced into buying this. Dressing as the Doctor, someone who was the epitome of carefree, or so he liked to pretend, might be amusing for the night. However, I was a California girl at heart, and I couldn't help but try and get a bargain.

"I'm sure we can work out a deal, come now…"

He managed to get me the scarf, a hat, and a coat for a steal, a_nd _we got Willow's costume for a good deal too. At the time, it was almost too good to be true. Of course, it actually was.

Halloween day came not too long after that, and I managed to drag Wills up into my room to help her out with her costume. After all, she wanted to impress Xander, make him see that she was really a girl, after all. Well, I wanted that for her anyway. I think Willow wanted it for herself, but she would have just hidden herself if I hadn't managed to get her to drop that ghost costume.

Instead, I managed to get her dressed in an outfit which really flattered her. It was a white blouse which showed just enough chest to make people ask for more. I made her wear some skin-tight jeans with it, and I did up her hair in a pony-tail. With her red hair, it looked awesome. Of course, I also gave her a nice jacket that Pike had given me toward the end of our relationship. To borrow. It framed her well enough. The costume also came with a large backpack, a baseball bat, and some canisters labeled of all things, "Nitro-9." Honestly, altogether it made her look like such a little hottie, but I wasn't sure whether she'd be able to go through with it. If I'd dressed her the way I had originally intended, judging from how she was blushing about _this_, Wills would have been under a sheet faster than you could say "Boo." This would have to do.

"So, what do you think, Wills? Think you're able to go out like this?"

"I don't know, are you sure it isn't too..." Willow trailed off.

"It's not too anything. It's just the right wild. I suppose if we went with my original plan, you might want to cover up, but trust me Wills, you'll knock them dead and you're definitely wild tonight. You'll blow them right out of the water."

"But this really isn't me." Willow said.

"And that's the point. Look, Halloween is the night that not you _is_ you, but not _you_. Y'know? Besides, I think this looks awesome on you."

The doorbell rang. Lucky for me, my costume was rather simple to put on. The scarf, jacket and hat worked well together, and all I needed to provide was a blouse and slacks. "Oh! That's Xander. Are you ready?"

Willow nodded. I double-checked to make sure there was no trace of the ghost. Couldn't let her go as that, after all.

I opened the door to reveal Xander dressed in his full costume: army fatigues, the beret he bought from the store, and the plastic gun. He saluted me at the door and said in a terrible imitation of a British Accent: "UNIT Soldier Harris reporting for duty, mum... sir... Doctor... Buffy! You look smashing in that costume! I hereby renounce spandex."

I raised an eyebrow at the accent and replied with my own terrible one. "Your accent is atrocious, don't salute me, and wait till you see Wills, she looks awesome."

We looked up to see Willow in full costume coming down. She looked a little nervous, so I gave her an encouraging smile. Xander seemed to sense it too. "Wow, you look great Wills! Who are you going as?"

"I-I'm not sure, but Buffy said it looked pretty good on me." Willow replied.

"And it does. A definite number one costume. An Ace, if you will." Xander continued with the accent. "And being that we have the Doctor tonight rather than the Slayer, I'm sure that one of the companions wouldn't be a bad thing after all."

Willow giggled at this point, and I grinned. "It'll be a fun night, I think. Let's make the most of it before Snyder decides to try to suck all the fun out of it. Even with the kids."

So we headed out to go pick up our groups of children at the school. Snyder snarked at us some rules, and we began to take them trick or treating. Some of the adults giving out things on Halloween in Sunnydale are worse than demons, I swear. Of course, everything changed that night.

* * *

Now, at this point I didn't know exactly what was going on across town. The shopkeep, Ethan Rayne, was working on casting a _spell_ of all things. Magic. Distasteful word, everything should be able to be explained somehow. To wave it away as magic is doing a disservice to the intelligence of my people and scientists everywhere. It was a psychic phenomenon that drew upon a psychic link with the clothing creating a psycho-physiological overlay of the costume's persona on the person underneath's body. Magic. Hah. Just because a higher dimensional being intervenes, these mo- Okay, I'm getting a bit carried away here.

Still, at this point, I was two people. I was the body and soul, and I was also the mind and species. I had just wasn't together. Well, up until Janus smooshed us together like fish fingers and custard. I must say that the tastes of what would have been my future selves were fairly eclectic. It's probably more accurate to say that we were two timelines which had been fused together. Janus can do that because he's able to affect the reality of this world in such a way that would have made the time lords envious. Bastards that they were. I had just finished getting the time ring back from the Kaleds on Skaro, and Sarah, Harry and I had managed to set back Dalek development a few hundred years. Yes, I'm sure the Time Lord Council would have preferred that I just prevent the Daleks from becoming the threat they are in the first place, but I didn't have the right to do that. Now, the time ring _should have_ taken me back to the TARDIS with Sarah and Harry. It didn't quite.

I opened my eyes after I felt the trans-mat beam stop. I should have been on the TARDIS, but where I was quite obviously wasn't there. I felt strange; the psychic energy here was off. Obviously I was on Earth.

"We've mastered such technologies. There's no danger in intercepting a trans-mat for the Time Lords. Right." I blinked and looked down at myself. That was emphatically _not_ my voice. "... This is new. Test, one two. One, two. Mary had a little lamb. I would like a jelly baby. By Rassilon, I've become Sarah!"

I looked at myself again. "No, not Sarah... Sarah is taller than this." As an aside, I would like to state that I was _not_ that short. Sarah is just tall. Er. Taller. I was a normal height for my age.

So I had managed to somehow go from Skaro to Earth without the use of the TARDIS, and I was now in the body of a teenage girl. I was quite obviously wearing my own clothing, so someone had obviously transmuted me into a girl via the trans-mat beam. Probably. As for how I knew this was Earth, the stars were in the right position, and I wouldn't be much of a Time Lord if I couldn't tell that from looking while outside I'm on Earth.

I felt the double-thumping of my hearts in my chest, verifying that I was indeed Gallifreyan, but I needed to look around properly. A number of tiny creatures ran around, growling and snarling at people. They couldn't have been much more than a meter tall as I looked over them. I dodged to the side easily as one rushed me. I had no clue what these creatures were, but it was obvious that they were not Earth native.

"Identify yourselves and your planet of origin, please." Of course, they didn't seem to want to listen, and they were far more interested in causing mayhem. So, I supposed, it was time to get my bearings properly. No TARDIS, no Time Ring, but I did have a couple things in my pockets that would be useful. I reached into my pockets and pulled out a bag of Jelly Babies. Popping one in my mouth, I placed the bag in the other pocket and pulled out the sonic.

I set the sonic to scan the local environment. Perhaps I could figure out what caused me to transform into a woman, and figure out a way back to the TARDIS. I checked the initial scan. There was a background radiation of negative psionic energy that permeated here, originating from somewhere to the west. I'd have to check that out. A scan of one of the creatures that passed by showed something intriguing. Its DNA was human, but there was an overlay of psychic energy that distorted it somewhat. A scan of myself showed a mixture of human and my own Time Lord DNA, but the Time Lord DNA was almost an overlay similar to that psychic energy. Curious.

The sound of gunfire broke me out of my introspective and I ran toward its source. A young man dressed in a UNIT uniform was firing at the creatures, over their heads , to keep them away from him.

"Excuse me, soldier, but you probably don't want to be shooting at the little ones. You might hit one and kill it, and that would not be a good thing."

"And why not? They're monsters. Who are you anyway and where are we?" The UNIT soldier sounded based out of London. Well, that brought me back.

"They aren't _monsters_, they're humans mutated by some sort of psionic source. Children to be precise. So _don't kill them_. As for who I am, I'm the Doctor. We're..."

A sports utility vehicle driven by a redheaded girl with a large backpack with a bat sticking out of it in the passenger seat pulled up nearby. The driver's seat was located on the left side. Clearly with the architecture around and that sort of car, I was able to continue my statement.

"We're quite obviously in America, Southern California if I haven't missed my guess. As for the precise city, I don't know as I don't have my TARDIS. I'm sure we can find out though."

The UNIT soldier immediately got to attention as the redhead was getting out of the car. He saluted me. "Yes sir, mum, Doctor, sir, I mean ma'am."

"Just Doctor is fine, Agent. No sirs, no ma'ams, no salutes either." I tried to keep the annoyance out of my voice, but given that the voice was a new one, I'm sure some of it leaked through.

"Professor?" The redhead looked to me. "Professor, is that you?"

I looked over the girl. I didn't recognize her, but that didn't really mean anything. If the same psychic energy that was affecting me was affecting her, I _wouldn't_ recognize her even if she was someone I did know. Well, I might if I recognized her clothing, but I quite plainly didn't.

"No, no, mum, that's the Doctor, not the Professor." Ah hah, the UNIT soldier there to save me some embarrassment.

"Yeah, that's what he always calls himself, but I always call him Professor... Though he's usually not a she. Nor does he wear that kind of scarf, but I kinda like it. Looks dashing." The redhead gave me an appraising look.

"Well, you seem to know me, but I don't yet know you, Miss..." I trailed off to let her introduce herself.

"Ace. Just call me Ace, Professor. You always did say that you used to look different. If I'd known that you looked this different, I might have... Nevermind. Anyway, we're not in our normal bodies, Professor."

"Quite right, Ace." Clever girl. Must be why I travel with her. Will travel with her. Still, if I travel with her, why did only she come here, why didn't her Doctor come with her? I was missing something. "This seems to be the result of some sort of psionic energy. We should trace the energy back to its source and disrupt it."

"Right, how would we do that?" The UNIT soldier asked. I'm sure he had a name, but he hadn't told me yet.

"It depends on how the source is being used. I should be able to track it with this." I held up the sonic. One of its littler known functions was its ability to scan for energies. Most times I just used it to open doors or mess with electronics.

"Is that your sonic screwdriver?" Ace asked. "Looks different."

Oh, so I must change the model by the time I know her. "Yes. Let's go..."

Of course, I am prone to interruption. This time was no different. "GET AWAY!" A female voice rang out over the area. The UNIT Soldier leaped into action, running toward the call, as did Ace and I. There was a girl dressed in a cat costume being chased by another of the psychic mutations. She was fairly attractive, but quite obviously in distress. "Somebody help me!"

"Agent, three shot burst, aerial, please." I ordered and he complied, scaring the mutant off. The girl ran up to us.

"Oh, thank God. It's you guys. What the hell is going on here?" The girl seemed to recognize us. Curious.

"You have me at a disadvantage, Miss. You say you know me?" I led with my second-best attribute. My charm.

"Quit fooling around, Buffy. Of course I know you, Willow and Xander. You geeks are always in the middle of something like this. "She paused and looked around. "And since when do you talk all Giles-y? It sounds weird."

"Assume for a second that I have amnesia. That I don't know who you are. That I am not this Buffy whom you speak of. " After all, at the moment I wasn't. "Please, introduce yourself, young lady and tell us what happened."

The sonic was detecting no traces of the psionic energy on her as she spoke. "Right. If it will help your freako loser self out, I'm Cordelia Chase, and one minute I'm heading to a Halloween party the next I'm being chased by Jo-Jo the Dog-Faced Boy. " She looked down at herself and whined out. "And he tore it. Partytown is never going to give me back my deposit now..."

Halloween, eh? That would explain the costume she wore, but it didn't explain the psionic energies. "Calm down, Miss Chase." I reassured her. "I'm sure that we can find someone to fix that. Here, have a Jelly Baby."

I offered her some of my stash. Delicious things, Jelly Babies. Anyone who likes them is a good chap in my book.

"Okay, you definitely aren't acting like Buffy. Who are you?" Cordelia asked with a confused look on her face.

"I'm the Doctor, this is Ace, and our escort from UNIT is securing the perimeter." Ace waved vibrantly at the teenager. Cordelia seemed to recognize all of us though. Perhaps we were just occupying these bodies.

"Doctor who?" Cordelia asked the most obvious question.

"Just, the Doctor. Come along now, our escort is coming back."

"Doctor, we should take the civilian and your associate to safety."

"Yes, Agent..."

"Harding, ma'am. Troy Harding." UNIT trained him well, even if he was a little young. Ace seemed to be somewhat interested in him, but then again, so did Cordelia. I never really understood human relationships like that. Well, so I said anyway.

"Spectacular idea, and we'll find safety in this direction." I started off, leading the group. "Do follow along. "

Well, actually, I lied. It was quite unlikely that we'd find safety in the direction of one of the sources of psionic activity. However, it wasn't _that_ far away. Just a few blocks. We passed by several groups of roving little mutants along our way, but it wasn't that hard to scare them off between Agent Harding's gun and the Sonic. What surprised me was where one of the sources of psionic energy seemed to be coming from.

"Oh yeah, we'll be safe in the Library and Giles can find out what's going on!" Cordelia seemed to perk up as we approached the school.

"Sunnydale High School, 'Formatia trans sicere educatorum.'" I read out as I passed.

"Enter all ye who seek knowledge? Kinda pretentious, isn't it?" Ace commented.

"Certainly, but we should be safe in the library, which is, I assume, the direction Miss Chase is going."

"Then that's where we should take them, Doctor." Agent Harding commented. So we followed Cordelia inside the school, and curiously, the psionic readings on the sonic continued getting stronger as we got closer and closer to the library.

"Ace, be ready for anything." I commented quietly to the girl, who pulled out her bat. I hid my surprise at seeing the bat up close. It had been enhanced with Time Lord technology. It should make the girl more than a match for anything bad we'd come across. I assumed that I was the one who enhanced it, or at least I knew about it when I met Ace. The girl did seem to be a clever one. I liked clever. Still do, actually.

The library was not your typical high school library. From what I could see of the covers, there was far more of a selection of ancient lore and literature than found at your standard high school. Something was wrong about that. Once I stepped inside, I could feel it, what the sonic picked up. The psionic energy that permeated the room was enough to temporarily overwhelm my shields and I stumbled.

"Professor!" Ace came to steady me as I stepped in.

"I'll be alright, Ace, don't worry." It took a few seconds to repair my shields, but I'd never felt a psionic force so... evil before. For lack of a better term, I could only describe it as thus.

"I'm telling you Giles, they're acting really freaky..." Cordelia came back toward the entrance trailed by an older man dressed in a tweed coat and suit. Sensible dress, of course.

"Yes, Cordelia, I'll take a look." He got closer and looked at me. "Buffy, Willow, Xander, are you alright? Good heavens, is that a real gun?"

Agent Harding nodded. "Of course it is, Sir. UNIT Standard issue."

"I'm sorry, did you just say UNIT?" Giles said incredulously.

"Yes, it stands for United Nations-"

"Intelligence Taskforce, yes, I do know about that. Except it's a fictional organization." Giles said.

"Perhaps not as fictional this evening, Mr. Giles." I spoke up. Fictional, Halloween... Evil psionic energy... I still was missing something. A piece of the puzzle eluded me.

"Buffy, what do you mean?" That name again. Was what I initially thought false? Was I instead possessing some girl named Buffy? Not entirely. My chest beat with both of my hearts, of that I was certain.

"For one thing, I'm not Buffy, Mr. Giles." I began.

"No, I suppose you aren't, not with that demeanor." He replied. "Who are you then?"

"I am the Doctor." I simply answered.

Mr. Giles removed his glasses and sat down in a chair to clean them. "Oh dear lord..."

* * *

Chapter End

Author's notes: Right, so this is my first Buffy cross with anything, thus I'm posting it on Twisting the Hellmouth and simultaneously. To any who have read my other fics, you'll know that I don't typically do first person. Both Buffy and The Doctor in this fic have been a challenge to write right, and I'm not even sure I pulled it off well enough. On top of that, writing ensemble scenes is something I never fully mastered, but I'm working through that.

I'd like to thank two of the people who helped me by bouncing ideas off of them: Light02 and Stratagemini. I also would like to thank the SpaceBattles forum for reading over this and catching a few things.


	2. Halloween Fic

Not Everything on the Telly is Fake...

By Ellf

* * *

Chapter Two: Halloween Fic

Disclaimer: I own none of the series in this story

After I had introduced myself to Mr. Giles, he seemed a tad shell shocked. So I let him gather his thoughts while I gathered my own. Inside the library sat a number of ancient books. I could feel their age, along with several psionic auras linked to individual books, but those were nearly drowned out by the psionic aura that came from below here. One of great darkness. The air also tasted of rift energy, indicating that the aura came from a rift below the library. Wonderful. Unfortunately, that had nothing to do with the current situation other than setting. The current situation was this: somehow, Ace, Agent Troy Harding of UNIT, and I had come to occupy the bodies of the persons known as Willow, Xander and Buffy. This was likely linked to the same situation that caused the psionic based mutation of the children outside. Miss Cordelia had not been subject to the same psionic mutation, thus something was different about her. The date was also Halloween.

"So... you're the Doctor then." Mr. Giles spoke up. "Time Lord of Gallifrey, the man who flies around in a blue box known as the TARDIS?"

I nodded. "Quite. Though I am lacking a bit in the masculine persuasion at the moment."

"And she has become Doro-" Mr. Giles began.

"Oi! It's Ace, nothing more than that, Mr. Giles. I don't know how you know that name, but use Ace."

"Right. If I needed any more proof that you weren't Willow that would be it. And Alexander has become an agent of UNIT."

"Yes, sir. Agent Troy Harding, and I'm eager to figure out what's happening so I can return to my team." Agent Harding saluted, and Mr. Giles grimaced. If we were occupying bodies of people he was close to, then his discomfort would make sense.

"And Cordelia tells me that there are a number of little monsters running around outside. The children whom you were escorting appear to have become their costumes, as have you." I liked Mr. Giles. He was clever for a librarian, and there was something more about him. I almost felt like I recognized him. Perhaps that was influence from my host coming through.

"Yes, the children seemed to be infected by some sort of psionic based mutation which a similar energy surrounds myself and the two with me, yet this doesn't surprise you. Cordelia was eager to see you about the situation and she explained it to you in detail which implies that you usually deal with this sort of thing." I figured that I might as well get another piece of the puzzle if Mr. Giles was willing to give it to me. "You are far more than just a librarian."

"Ah, yes. I'm sorry, Doctor, despite the current situation, you look like Buffy. Yes, my name is Rupert Giles, and I am a Watcher. Buffy's Watcher, precisely. "

"And what exactly does a Watcher do? Watch?"

"We guide and train the Vampire Slayer, helping her with her duties to protect the world from the supernatural." Vampires. Rassilon, there were vampires here. It was unlikely that they were related to the Great Vampires, being that Time Lords and the related literature were fictional here, but if they were, something was wrong.

"And, this Buffy who I am supposed to be is the Vampire Slayer."

"Into every generation a slayer is born: one girl in all the world, a chosen one. She alone will wield the strength and skill to fight the vampires, demons, and the forces of darkness; to stop the spread of their evil and the swell of their number. She is the Slayer." Rupert recited as if rote memory.

"I see." I resolved that if I managed to get access to my TARDIS before this was resolved, I would go and find out more about the Slayer. However, that was not relevant to the situation at hand. "We need to discover why the psionic energy affected the people it did. It didn't affect Cordelia here."

"Quite, I'll consult the books to see if I can find any spells that would cause a situation such as this." Spells. Perhaps this universe was more like the galaxy from where the Carrionites originated. Word based psionic manipulation would be similar to that and could be mistaken for spells by the uninformed. Of course, they could simply be the names used for the phrases used to manipulate the energies.

Ace spoke up then. "Cordelia said that she got her costume at Partytown. Maybe the difference between us and her is that the costumes that brought us here weren't purchased from that store."

"That would make sense, especially as the sonic is showing another source of psionic energy coming from elsewhere in the town, but it is lesser than the one below here." I commented. Ace _was_ clever.

"Th-that would be your sonic screwdriver then?" Rupert seemed to be restraining himself from looking too interested as he stared at the sonic. Apparently he had some interest in it.

"Quite, now, let's operate on the assumption that we got the costumes elsewhere..." I trailed off and then looked at the computer in the room, gesturing at it. "May I?"

I didn't wait for a nod before logging myself on. The computer was from the mid-90s, so the connection wasn't as fast as I would have liked. So I activated setting 54T1 on the sonic and used it on the computer. Now it was just as fast as I wanted, and I was able to do a local search for costume shops. There was Partytown, which is where Cordelia picked up her costume, but there were three other costume shops. "Let's see here, the other possible shops are Halloweenarama, Costumes 4 Me and Ethan's. Oh wait, it appears that two of them were closed this week due to... their owners suffering a fatal case of exsanguination as a result of a barbecue fork accident... Vampires, I take it... leaving the only shop that was open this week to be Ethan's."

I turned toward Rupert to see his eyes narrow and a flash of both anger and recognition appeared in them. He knew something more. "Where is this place? Do you have an address?"

"Yes, not a problem." I wrote it down. "Let's go."

Mr. Giles stood up and grabbed his tweed coat, and I wrapped my scarf around myself as we headed out with the rest of our group. This felt strikingly familiar, and I suspected it was because of the body I occupied at the moment. This Vampire Slayer must have been someone who knew Rupert Giles well.

To occupy myself as we traveled, I first gave the address to Mr. Giles and then decided to speak. "So, obviously you're close to these children whose bodies we're occupying; you said you were this Buffy's watcher. Given the rift beneath the library, I assume that you and they watch over it quite like Torchwood watches over the Cardiff rift in my universe."

"I'm sorry, Torchwood?" Rupert Giles questioned.

"Britain's own alien hunting crew, quite like UNIT only not controlled by the United Nations. They're not exactly the most subtle of people, and I know they've been around for a while. I'm just not all too certain as to when they started up or what they're doing. They're almost like ghosts, but they're there. UNIT has had some issues with them showing up to alien scenes before they did. Given your knowledge of my background, it stands to reason that Torchwood hasn't been mentioned because I haven't had any real confrontations with them. I might in the future or I might not. Ace, have you heard of Torchwood?"

"Just rumors, Professor. Nothing really solid. I do know that they didn't show up to deal with the Daleks who were after the Hand of Omega. At least I think they didn't show up. It was us and a team of-" Ace started to get too detailed. If Daleks were after the Hand of Omega, I'd have to deal with that in due time, but obviously I _did_ deal with it. I cut her off at that point.

"Not too many spoilers, Ace. I don't want to mess up your past which is my future. Anyway, Rupert, it _is_ okay for me to call you Rupert, yes? Rupert, it seems to me like you could use some additional help. Yourself and a group of what, three and a half children? Does not make a fully effective Rift defense team. Especially since there are vampires. Vampires are a nasty sort, and the fact that nights like tonight don't seem like they're fully out of place here means there's something more to this than just the vampires. "

"Yes, well, there are demons who haunt the Hellmouth as well." Rupert started. Demons? Well, with a name like "Hellmouth" for the rift, it didn't seem too unlikely that creatures that at least resembled demons of myth might be around. Plus, there were the psychic mutations that were inflicted onto the children. Some of them did indeed resemble demons of myth.

"Quite. Now you seem to know more about this than you are letting on. When I mentioned the name of the costume shop, you tensed up, and your nostrils flared. You may not be directly involved with the psychic event, but you have a suspicion as to who might be and it angered you. Who might that be? I wonder."

Any further musing was cut off by an attempt to grab me by a lad dressed as a pirate. Normally I would have slipped out of his grasp with ease, but I was unused to the change in size between this and my normal body; it wasn't like a new regeneration where I managed to get most of the motor skills necessary to use it properly, so I just stood there as the foul-smelling ruffian grabbed me. He then went to scoop up Cordelia as well.

"Oh no you don't Larry, I'll..." She was grabbed quickly. "Let me go, Larry!"

"You heard the lady!" Agent Harding stepped up and slammed the butt of his rifle into the pirate's face, forcing him to drop the both of us and then he shot a few rounds off above him, scaring the man off. He offered a hand to Cordelia up. "Are you alright, miss?"

"Yeah..." Cordelia had a bit of a wistful sound to her voice and I helped myself to my feet.

"Well, well, what do we have here? Hello, cutie." A blond man dressed in a red shirt and leather coat stood behind a group of the psychic mutants with a smattering of people who were unaffected. I hesitate to actually use the term people, because it quickly became obvious from their faces that they certainly weren't living humans anymore. No, these were vampires, which implied that the blond leading them was also one. "Look at the group of the Slayer and her crew, all wrapped up nice for me. You shouldn't have."

"Rupert, take Cordelia and get to the costume shop. We'll deal with this group here." I ordered as Ace pulled out her bat and a few canisters that were marked "Nitro-9" of all things. Some sort of explosive if I could trust my nose.

"Are you sure?" Rupert seemed to want to stay.

"Go! You probably stand the best chance of ending this. I'll deal with these people." I gave my best reassuring grin.

"Oh listen to that, the Slayer's talking proper Queen's English. Tonight's just been one neat surprise after another." The blond grinned at me. His hair reminded me a tad of Billy Idol. "Sounds good on you, cutie, but don't think it will prevent me from draining you dry."

Rupert and Cordelia ran, and as the group started to go after them, Ace, Agent Harding and I interposed ourselves. "Agent Harding, while your bullets won't likely do much, feel free to shoot the tall ones with the deformed faces. They're vampires. You, I'll give you one chance to surrender and leave off for tonight. I warn you, I'm a master of Venusian Aikido." At least I was in my last regeneration. In this one, it was far easier just to get a weapon and use it... plus there was the issue of body mass differences which I hadn't accounted for yet.

"And who exactly are you supposed to be, chit? Venusian Aikido... you'd think you were Jon Pertwee or something."

"I am the Doctor." I simply answered as I pulled out the sonic. There was a setting there that should just deafen the vampires which had better hearing than humans, and even Time Lords... or at least I was counting on that.

"Oh, the Doctor! Well that changes everything. You look a bit like Tom Baker's Doctor, I suppose, with the scarf and the hat." His face morphed. "Always wondered what Time Lord blood would taste like. Name's Spike, by the way. Get them! But leave the Doctor for me!"

One of the vampires turned toward Spike with a questioning look on his face. "The Doctor?"

"The sodding Slayer is dressed as the Doctor! Do none of you watch good TV?" Spike shook his head. "Leave the chit for me, deal with her friends."

At that point the group advanced. I adjusted the settings on the Sonic as the group came close faster than I predicted. Luckily Ace was there with her bat. She struck one vampire across the neck and the technology in the bat flared, removing the head of the vampire from its body, which shortly crumbled to dust.

Agent Harding was not inactive either, he kneecapped several of the vampires with his rifle while avoiding hitting the mutated children. The noise from the gunfire seemed to scare them away as I managed to get one last adjustment on the sonic before smiling. I looked toward Spike. "Gotcha!"

I activated the sonic, causing it to let out a high-pitched tone which should have been well within the vampires' hearing range. Their eyes oddly glowed yellow as they held their ears and backed off. "Ace, give me one of those explosives you're carrying!"

The children had mostly been scared off at this point. The explosion should take care of the vampires fine. They weren't psychic mutations, and like their ancestors, they needed to be destroyed. Given time, I'm sure I could have devised a way to turn them all back into humans, but I didn't have that time. The psychic phenomena would be over soon; Giles would make sure of that. Ace ran over to me to give me the canister.

"This is my latest formulation of Nitro-9, Professor!" Ace explained. "You activate it here, and the fuse will give you a head start to get away."

"How long, Ace?" I asked.

"Ten seconds." She replied. Ten seconds was plenty of time for a Time Lord. I took the canister and kept the sonic going as I approached the now cowering group of vampires. I activated the explosive and began to count as I rolled it.

Ten seconds. The canister rolled into the center of the group. The blond vampire seemed to notice it right away.

Nine seconds. I began to move away, and several of the vampires did too, despite the sonic causing them pain.

Eight seconds. Ace and Agent Harding took cover. The children already were far enough away.

Seven seconds. I was twenty meters back at this point. The timer still ticked on.

Six seconds. The Nitro-9 exploded, the fire engulfing the vampires that were in the explosive's direct path. The concussion wave sent me flying to my back, dazing me for a bit.

Five seconds. I laid there dazed, my clothing barely protection against the blast.

Four seconds. I was picked up off the ground, and my neck was turned to the side.

Three seconds. Fangs pierced my neck, and I felt my blood leaving me as well as the intense pleasure and pain.

Two seconds. If this kept up, I might start to...

One second. My neck snapped... I blacked out.

* * *

It would be simple to end the story there, but death is hardly an ending for a Time Lord, and this particular Slayer whom he was possessing has a bit of a knack for cheating death. However, more must be shown before what happened to her is.

While the group of possessed Scoobies was fighting, Rupert Giles and Cordelia managed to make it inside Ethan's costume shop. Giles was on his guard as he didn't know what to expect. He suspected a number of things, but he had no proof as to them yet. Cordelia, of course, was mostly clueless as to what was happening.

"See, this is why I bought my costume at Partytown. The costumes in this shop are tacky, and the motif of that bust is far too Roman. It clashes with the rest of the shop."

Of course, Cordelia would recognize that the bust of Janus was Roman. She was the daughter of a prominent family. Giles looked to it and narrowed his eyes.

"It's a bust of Janus."

"Janice, shmanice... It's tacky. What does it mean?"

"Primarily the division of self. Male and female. Light and Dark." Giles noticed some movement in the corner of his eye and moved to interpose himself between Cordelia and it.

"Chunky and creamy. Oh, no. Sorry, that's peanut butter." Another British voice echoed out.

"Cordelia, get out of here, now." Giles ordered.

"Fine, fine, I can see you want your man to man time. You better not leave me alone... I'll be right outside." Cordelia glared at the both of them before leaving the shop.

Once Cordelia was gone, Giles turned to the man. "Hello, Ethan."

"Hello, Ripper." Ethan grinned. "What? No hug? Aren't you pleased to see your old mate, Rupert?"

"I'm just surprised I didn't guess it was you right away. This Halloween stunt stinks of Ethan Rayne." Giles nearly growled out.

"Yes, it does, doesn't it?" Ethan asked rhetorically. "Don't want to blow my own trumpet, but it's genius. The very embodiment of 'be careful what you wish for.'"

"It's sick and brutal and harms the innocent." Giles stepped toward the other man.

"And you're a champion of the innocent? You? Quite an act you're putting on, old man." Ethan taunted.

"It's no act. It's who I am." Giles took another step.

"Who you are? The Watcher, sniveling, tweed-clad guardian of the Slayer and her kin? I think not. I know who you are, Rupert, and I know what you're capable of." Ethan paused and looked at Giles, thoughtful. Giles was going to have to do something about that. "But they don't, do they? They have no idea where you came from."

"I'll give you this one chance, Ethan. Break the spell and leave town, never to come back." Giles was within reach now.

"Oh, but that wouldn't be any fun. What do I get out of it?"

"You get to live." Giles growled out.

"Oh, Ripper, you're starting to scare me." Ethan taunted and then Giles jabbed the man in the gut and followed with a cross to the jaw, sending his former friend sprawling.

"Tell me how to break the spell." Giles lifted Ethan up to punch him again and let him go back to the ground.

Ethan spat out some blood. "And you said the Ripper was gone. Tut tut... shouldn't lie to the master."

Giles glared. "Tell me how to stop the spell, Ethan."

"Say 'pretty please'." Ethan taunted once more and Giles kicked him twice.

"Now, tell me how to stop it, and I'll leave you alive."

"The bust... break the statue of Janus..."Leaving nothing to chance, Giles dashed to the statue and lifted it over his head. He threw it to the ground, shattering it.

Ultimately, it was too late though. The Doctor's neck had been broken, thus Buffy's broke as well. Back at the battleground, Xander and Willow shook themselves out of the spell, Xander shouldering his now toy rifle. Willow still brandished the bat at any vampire who dared to get close. Spike knew that whatever magic had happened, the spell was obviously broken now. He'd done it. He'd managed to kill Buffy the Vampire Slayer while she was possessed. Oddly, it felt disconcerting that the Slayer would be done in that way. It didn't feel sporting. Of course, being Evil he didn't really care as much about being a good sport, but he had set out to kill the Slayer, not the Doctor.

It was then that Spike looked down at the Slayer's body in his hands. Something tingled at his senses. Normally when someone had their neck broken, the heart would stop after a few minutes, and the blood would stop pumping. That wasn't happening here. The Slayer's heart was still beating. He listened closely.

"Bloody hell." Spike couldn't help but utter. The Slayer's **hearts** were still beating. She also had a strange orange glow starting to go through her skin. All Spike's instincts told him that he didn't want to be near that glow if anything happened, so he dropped the body and ran. If the Slayer somehow survived this, he'd kill her another day. He'd already lost about half of his minions too. "Retreat, you lot!"

"Why? They're back to normal and you killed the Slayer!" Dumbasses, the lot of them. He'd have to make some newer, smarter minions when he got back to Dru. Something wasn't right here, and he knew it as he passed into the alley leading toward his hideout. He didn't look back, but he didn't need to. He could hear whatever it was happen. It sounded like an explosion of some sort, but not like the Nitro-9 explosive which had taken out half of the minions. He didn't know what it was, but he was certain the Slayer was the source.

He'd feed with Dru later tonight or early tomorrow. He needed to regroup and think on things.

* * *

Buffy Summers found herself standing in the middle of an open desert. She wasn't certain where she was, but this definitely wasn't Sunnydale. She was fairly certain that she hadn't been anywhere like this before. Well, to be honest, there was Venus, and Skaro was a little like the desert when she'd been there, but... Okay. That wasn't right.

"It _is_] a bit like Skaro, isn't it?" A male voice said nearby. She turned and there he was, Tom Baker's Doctor. "Hello, Buffy. I'm sorry about the mess that we found ourselves in."

"Hello, Doctor." Buffy found her voice. "No, it's my fault for dressing up as you. I wouldn't have expected something all spell-y to happen, but it did. Maybe I should have, but Giles said Halloween was the one night everyone would get off."

"Yes. Obviously that didn't happen. I suppose turning into me was better than your original idea. Trust me, the women of that time period were mostly... useless. Ignorant. The men kept them that way, but that's humanity for you." The Doctor explained

"Right... so... didn't Spike kill you... me... whatever?" Buffy asked. "Why are we here instead of wherever the next bit is?"

"While technically he _did_ kill us. Time Lords have a bit of a way to cheat death, which I guess I passed on to you." The Doctor smiled at Buffy. "Trust me, you'll be wonderful."

"Wait... so I'm... regenerating?" Buffy asked. "I don't want to change my face!"

"You may not have to. It may be that you regenerate from me into you... But you are definitely a Time Lady now, Buffy Summers."

"But... Doctor..." The Doctor began to fade away... into regeneration energy which poured into Buffy, drowning out everything she could see. The last thing she saw before everything faded to black was a primitive woman with tribal tattoos dashing at her.

When the light faded, Willow and Xander looked around the street. Several children were crying for their parents, and there weren't any vampires around. Buffy's body laid there at the center of the street, unconscious. _Or dead,_ a traitorous part of Xander's mind said as he went up to her.

On closer examination, Buffy was breathing again, and her neck had fully healed. Her hair seemed a bit blonder, possibly with a hint of red at the roots along one line of it. "She's alive, Wills! She's still alive!"

Willow ran over. "No, I saw her neck get snapped by Spike. Do you mean she-?"

"Guess enough of the Doctor stuck for her to get healed. She's breathing, neck seems to be in working order too. Huh, even the scar from the Master's gone." Xander picked up Buffy. "I'm going to get her to Giles's place. Do you think you can get the kids home?"

Willow nodded. "I'll come by afterward. If the Pro- the Doctor healed her, then something went right about this crazy night... Oi! Come on you kids!"

Xander blinked. Maybe Willow was still a little bit influenced by the personality of her costume. Might make things interesting later when she got all mortified. Still, he needed to bring Buffy to Giles's place. He needed to know she was okay.

In a crypt in Sunnydale Grace Cemetery, Spike smashed a chair over a table. "Rrraah! The Slayer was supposed to be dead! She was supposed to be weak, but no, she became a bloody Time Lord for the night, and wiped out half of us! I'm going to kill that girl! I'm going to tear out her throat and use her entrails as party streamers. I'll host a big party where we dine on her blood and eat hot wings. Yeah... that would do it."

A dark-haired vampire in Victorian dress came out from another room in the crypt. "There, there, my Spike. The Oncoming Storm took the nasty Slayer out of the reach of the Stars, and you managed to face her and survive. But there's a change in the Stars tonight and the two-faced god's influence tips the scales..."

Spike turned toward the woman. "Drusilla... what do you see, my love?"

"The Stars are blinking on and off, singing to me... Run and catch, run and catch... the pepper pots rise and the lords of time fly... The servants cast off their shackles, and the boots of metal stomp. Our ancestors' ancient enemy returns and the silence will deafen us all. The most important question shall ring out across time and space and it will haunt us..." Drusilla danced around Spike.

"I'm almost afraid to ask, Dru... but what question?"

"The first question... the oldest question in the universe... hidden in plain sight..."

"Dru?"

"Doctor... Who?"

* * *

Author's Notes: And Halloween is over, but the story is just beginning. I'm going to have some real fun with the first real arc here. I hope you guys do too.


	3. Aftermath

Not Everything on the Telly is Fake

By Ellf

* * *

Chapter Three: Aftermath

Xander placed Buffy on the couch in Giles's living room and removed her hat and scarf, hanging them over a chair. He wasn't exactly sure what had happened out there after the spell had broken; Buffy's body had released some sort of golden-orange energy, and then her injuries had miraculously healed. Given who Buffy had dressed as, Xander could have a bit of a guess as to what had happened to his friend, but the method at which it had happened was completely different than it had happened on the show. When the Doctor regenerated on the show, they used some sort of cross-fading effect, fading out one actor for another. Here, the energy that came out of her did enough damage that it managed to kill several vampires that had been remaining after Ace's Nitro-9 went off.

Given that his gun had returned to the cheap toy that it had been when he purchased it, Xander was fairly certain that all of Willow's gear had returned to what it was before the spell was cast as well. Still, Buffy clutched something in her right hand that from what he knew should not still exist. The sonic had made it through Buffy's regeneration, albeit with some structural damage; its casing had pieces missing exposing the alien internal circuitry and the attachment at the tip of it looked to be barely hanging on by a few wires. Looking at the sonic drew his attention to the rest of Buffy's body. In the light, he could see the full extent of her changes. Buffy's hair no longer resembled that of a bottle blonde rather it resembled something more of golden honey. The hair had red streaks that extended from her roots but stopped just short of the tips of her hair. She'd grown a couple inches, but Buffy remained below five and a half feet tall, barely. Looking at her face, he found that while he could still recognize his friend there, some subtle changes had taken place. Her lips seemed a bit fuller, cheekbones were higher, and her nose seemed to fit her more. It was almost as if her face had become a more idealized version of her original one. More Buffy than she was before. Once again, Xander was reminded of his past crush on her.

The front door of the apartment opened, and in walked Giles and Willow. He couldn't hear any annoying screeching, so Cordelia must have gone home. Giles quickly ran over to the couch and checked Buffy's pulse.

"She's alive, Giles." Xander said firmly. "Couldn't tell you how as this time it wasn't me."

"Yeah, Giles, she managed to take out about eight vampires with whatever energy had happened there." Willow explained. "She seems fine, just knocked out..."

"It must be some after-effects of the spell. It may have acted to preserve her life." Giles frowned and then turned toward Xander and Willow. "How are you two? Anything lingering?"

Xander answered, "I remember the full UNIT training camp, can put together a decent pot of tea, and I'm pretty sure I can disassemble and reassemble an M4 in less than a minute."

"Willow?" Giles asked, nonplussed.

Willow smiled. "I know the formula for Nitro-9 explosive and I have ideas on how I can improve upon it for use on vampires and demons here."

Giles's face seemed to lose a little bit of color before he headed to his liquor cabinet. He took a bottle of scotch out and poured himself a glass. "Willow, dear girl, if you work with such an explosive, please make sure the timing mechanism works properly."

"Yeah... Wills... ten seconds my ass..." Buffy's voice sounded a little groggy and perhaps just a tad British as she sat up on the couch. "What happened?"

"Buffy!" Three voices cried out at once in relief. Xander then continued. "Spike managed to get ahold of the Doctor and started to drain him... but then you..."

"Regenerated... Crap. Right. Well, voice sounds right. Sort of." Buffy held up her hands to her face. "Two hands, good. Nails unpainted, I'll have to fix that. Teeth..." She ran her tongue over her mouth. "I can live with them." She patted herself down. "Well, definitely still female, suppose that's a good thing. Wouldn't want to surprise Mom. " She stood up and looked down at herself. "New arms, legs... I can walk..."

She got in a basic stance. "Still the Slayer, right. Giles, guys, mirror... I need a mirror quick."

Giles seemed to break out of his stupor at watching Buffy do... whatever it is she was doing... and gestured toward the bathroom. Buffy ran in quickly and shut the door.

"Whoa, would you look at that!" The door locked itself. "Err! I mean, sorry! Don't come in yet!"

The water ran in the bathroom for about three minutes before Buffy made a reappearance. Her hair was tied back into a ponytail. "Sorry guys, it's just that this is sort of almost all new to me. I should be myself properly tomorrow. Though I'm a bit taller and I've got all this pent up energy right now. Guess I shouldn't feel all giddy, but I am a bit different but the same-y-ish." Buffy trailed off.

"You look fine, my dear." Giles started. "And given the ordeal you went through, anyone would be a little different."

"Yes, that's true, but I won't be like the beginning of the year. I'm no longer depresso-Buffy. I'm now all cheerful Buffy! See! Full of cheer! That's me!" Buffy smiled at the others.

Xander leaned in to comment to Willow. "And now that... that scares me."

"I heard that!" Buffy mock-growled. "So Giles, why did we all turn into our costumes anyway?"

"A sorcerer cast a spell." Giles began to explain what had happened, but he left out any connection between himself and Ethan Rayne. Buffy seemed to listen intently, though she made a bit of a face whenever the word spell or magic came into use, and she idly played with the remains of the sonic screwdriver in her right hand.

* * *

School. The one word that many teenagers dread like the mouth of Hell was about to open and swallow them whole. In fact, many teenagers would tell you that they preferred the latter rather than the slow lingering torture that going to class every day was. Buffy Summers was a bit different than that, even before Halloween. Before becoming the Slayer, she enjoyed school. It wasn't so much about the classes as much as it was the social aspects. Buffy was the Queen Bee at Hemery High School up until Lothos came and drained the fun out of that. That started the downward spiral of her relationship with school, but even so, she preferred going to Sunnydale High rather than being stuck at home with nothing to do.

She loved her mother, really, but she could only stand being in the room with her ignorance of certain matters for a certain amount of time before she felt like screaming something that would land her back in the Asylum. She dreaded the day that her mother would find out the truth for real. Mothers never reacted well when their children were in danger. She should know, she'd met enough of them in her travels. Or rather the Doctor did. Stupid Halloween memories.

Still, School was a chance to escape, and a chance to learn about the newest threat to the world, and whatnot, but it had never been _this boring_ before. She'd breezed through the French exam like it was English, aced the History pop quiz, and had written five pages on the mathematics exam going into the _n_-th dimensional theory on why x happened to be equal to 6. She was right, of course, and though her teachers had tried to stop her, she'd headed out of the room. Normally she wasn't this bored, and oftentimes she wasn't entirely sure what she was doing in the classroom, using that time to catch up on sleep she'd missed during patrolling the night before. Of course, now Buffy hadn't slept once since Halloween, and it was two days later.

She walked through the hallway, intending on heading for the library when her way was blocked by an unwelcome presence.

"Miss Summers... Just the delinquent whom I was hoping to find. " Principal Snyder sneered at her and she cocked her eyebrow. "I've been hearing interesting stories about you today, and it seems like I may finally be able to get my wish. Cheating is a very nasty mark against you. It could lead to detention, suspension, and my personal favorite... Expulsion."

"Oh?" Buffy said carefully. "Good thing I don't cheat then."

"Then how do you explain your latest test scores?" Snyder seemed to ground out.

"Study and intuitive understanding. Perhaps I'm a bit more clever than you might have thought, Principal Snyder." Buffy started, and before Snyder began to speak again, she cut him off. "French has always been my weak suit so I studied hard for the upcoming test this weekend. I've always been interested in history, why do you think I'm in the library all the time? As for the math, my father is an architect, and I've picked up a lot of math tricks from him and his friends. And before you comment on my hair, I've checked the dress code, and there's nothing in it about changing the color a bit. If you still think I cheated, prove it."

Snyder turned red and sputtered. "I'll find something on you yet, Summers."

"If you think you can. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some more studying to do. _Principal_ Snyder." She pushed past the older man and headed toward the library. Once she was out of his hearing range, she shook her head. "Idiot."

* * *

As Buffy entered the library, she noted the familiar presence of her watcher reading some book or another. She couldn't get a good angle on it from here, and it looked like it was using a variation on cuneiform which was always a pain to read. Of course, it was nothing like reading Gallifreyan, but there were always things that were trouble when dealing with cuneiform. Buffy headed toward the main study table and placed her bag down.

"So Giles, what's the what?" She smirked when she saw Giles jump a bit at her question.

"What?" So eloquent. You'd think that Giles would be used to her and the others interrupting his reading by now.

"The book, the research, Giles. What are you looking into?" She couldn't help but be curious.

"Well, given the events of Halloween, I felt I should do a bit of research into the particular spell that Ethan had used to change you all into your costumes, to see if there should be any lingering effects. However, I've only found vague references in some of my books, and they referenced this volume which apparently is written only in pre-Babylonian cuneiform. " Giles didn't sound all that worried. If Buffy wasn't fooling herself, he sounded...

"Easy there, Giles. I'm sure it's fine. Or should I leave you two alone and go find Xander and Willow?" She smirked.

Giles huffed and turned toward his slayer. "Are _you_ okay, Buffy? The ending of the spell was a bit more traumatic for you."

"No big. I got a nifty new hair style out of the deal, and you've died once, you don't really feel that bad when it happens a second time." Buffy reassured the man. "I'm still me, I'm not going to go all Psycho-Slayer like before."

"Yes, well..." Giles took off his glasses and began to clean them. It had to have been a sign of nervousness. "How was patrol?"

"Quiet, almost disturbingly so. There haven't been any new fledges that I've been able to find the past few nights, and even the demons have been quiet. Spike's been in hiding and I still haven't found him."

"Are you sure he didn't get caught up in the..." Giles trailed off.

"I'm certain. He ran away before the regeneration happened. I was aware enough to sense that." Buffy shrugged. "If it's quiet again like this, it might end up being more like a normal town... Less hellmouthy. That's a good thing."

"Yes, but we should be prepared for anything. Experience tells us that the Hellmouth likes to throw a wrench into things. However, as long as nothing happens, I see no reason patrol should interfere with your homework."

Buffy groaned. "Kiss of death, Giles. You **know** this by now."

Xander spoke up as he walked in. "Ah come on, Buff. What's the worst that can happen?"

Buffy glared at him as she stalked off, and rubbed her head a bit. Willow slapped the boy upside the head.

"What'd I say?" Xander sounded confused.

* * *

The Bronze thrummed with life that night as the Scoobies took their regular seats. A new band, _Dingoes Ate My Baby_ took the stage and played a mixture of covers of some alternative rock songs in addition to their own. It made a nice background for the conversation, and the environment certainly was soothing to Buffy after being in the school all day. It took nearly all of her concentration to blot out the feeling of the Hellmouth so she could focus on her classes. Of course, they were far too easy, but she still felt that she should have some good showings for it. Even if half of what she put down for the history exam were things she knew historians had gotten wrong. After all, nobody would record Zygons being at this place, nor would they record a Dalek incursion. Such things were fictional. Still, she knew some of the motivations that were listed for various things definitely weren't correct.

"...true, Buff?" Xander looked to her.

"I'm sorry, what?" Buffy looked to her friend.

"You told off Snyder today, or so the rumors say." Xander smirked. "Wish I'd been there to see it."

"It was no big. He accused me of cheating, and I basically told him to prove it. The man's a Napoleonic power monger. Of course, I never really understood that phrase." Buffy's accent shifted slightly toward the end of the statement.

"Huh?" Xander

"Using Napoleon like that. He was a nice enough man, brilliant too. He was a great general, and he was taller than me. Well, I was about the same height as him, but he was taller than I am now. I'd take you two to meet him, but that requires something I don't have here, sadly." Buffy shrugged.

Willow blinked. "Uh, Buffy... is that a Doctor memory?"

Buffy blinked and considered. She knew_ she'd_ never met Napoleon Bonaparte, yet she could probably name his favorite tea, his four best mates, and what he liked to do as a morning routine. Best _friends_. Not best mates. "Uh... maybe? They come and go pretty easily for me. But I still feel mostly the same... I'm still me."

Willow nodded. "Well, you're our friend regardless. Even if you have the Professor's memories."

Buffy smirked. "Looks like I'm not the only one with memories, Miss McShane-Rosenberg. "

Willow playfully swung at Buffy who ducked immediately. These two were great friends. That's why she needed to protect them. Buffy scanned the crowd. New band nights often meant at least one or two vampires in the audience. Idly she thought about a vampire she wasn't sure she wanted to see for certain. Angel would sense the changes in her almost immediately. She also wasn't sure how she'd react to his presence.

Ah. There we go. There was a man probably in his early twenties wearing what looked like a... was that a zoot suit? Who wore a zoot suit to a club when it wasn't forties night? And then she really looked at him. The man was a negative space on her senses, a null area psychically, definitely a vampire. Well, to be precise, he wasn't completely null, but compared to the active psychic auras near him, he weighed on them. And it looked like he was leading the girl he was dancing with outside.

"Well guys, duty calls..." She nodded toward the guy. "Shouldn't take long."

"Want us to come with?" Xander asked.

"Nah, this guy's alone. I'll handle him." Buffy smiled and stood to follow the so-called couple outside.

* * *

Outside the Bronze, the vampire led his prey into an alleyway. Funny how there seemed to be a lot of those here in Sunnydale. She prattled on about this and that, but his focus was entirely on her jugular. She really did have a pretty neck. It almost was a pity that he was going to mar such a thing with his teeth. Still, maybe he would turn her.

He looked up and down the brunette. Then again, maybe not. "Shhh... We're almost where I told you we'd go."

"Oh?" The girl raised her eyebrow and replied in a sultry voice. "Then why are we stopped?"

"I think I want a bit of a taste..." The vampire grinned as his face morphed, causing his victim to scream. God, he loved that. Fear just made them taste so much better.

"You know, you should do something about that scaring people thing. Maybe invest in a mirror so you can try to not scare your date. Oh wait. No reflection. Too bad." Another female voice with the slightest hint of an English accent echoed down the alleyway. He turned away from his victim to get a look.

He didn't really get much a chance to look as the first impression of her he got was a fist to his face, knocking him away from his victim. He blearily looked up at the blonde as she turned toward his victim. "Bit of advice. Run!"

The woman didn't need to be told twice as she dashed out of the alleyway. The vampire flared his nostrils while in game face and growled at the interloper. She took away his dinner. But there was something about her. She smelled... better. More appetizing. He wasn't entirely sure what it was... but he knew he needed to kill her. It wasn't like she was the Slayer, after all.

"You know, I've often wondered how people even decide to come with vampires like you. I mean your clothes are severely out of date, though on a man it's not that bad to wear a suit like that. I mean, I'd wear a suit like that if I were a man. Probably would add a bowtie though. It'd look good on me. Of course, everything does. You, though... you were easy to spot in the crowd. You stuck out like a sore thumb. " The woman walked over to a crate and snapped off a piece of wood. While she did that, he dashed at her.

She punched him across the jaw, and he countered with a low sweep. She jumped that and thrust at him with the wood. He dodged so it didn't even penetrate and continued the exchange of blows. He had to have been older than her, probably. She was certainly alive, if the two heartbeats he heard from her were any indication, but he still wasn't sure what kind of demon she was.

"I'm going to drain you dry." There, proper intimidation tactics had been employed. Maybe that'd get her to let up enough for him to get an advantage.

She headbutt him in the face in response. "Seriously, do all vampires have the same scriptwriter? Blah blah, blood. Drain you dry. Whatever. You're not original, and you're not scary."

He felt something puncture his chest. "You know, if you had been original, I might have given you the chance to try and change your ways. Buut... I don't think I'd be able to trust you enough."

The vampire crumbled to dust and Buffy shook her head. Poor person. At least they were able to rest in peace now that their body had joined them in death. She picked her head up and turned toward the alleyway's entrance. Another vampire stood there, but this one was far more familiar to her.

His name came to her lips with a smile. "Angel." And then it hit her. Her other senses... her new ones... could sense the wrongness of him, but they could also sense the presence of the soul. Something wasn't quite right about how it was there. She assumed it was probably the curse. It gave Angel his soul, his conscience back. She didn't realize just how bad it was psychically. "Oh God Angel, I'm sorry..."

"Buffy?" Angel sounded confused. "What do you have to be sorry about?"

"I didn't..." Buffy shook her head and came toward Angel. "I didn't realize just what the curse did until now." She hugged the vampire who returned her embrace. Bits of her were screaming at the wrongness of this, but this was something that was strictly _her_. This wasn't the Doctor butting in, this was Buffy being Buffy. Still. The curse. Curses had ways of getting broken. It wouldn't be fair to herself or to Angel if it happened.

Angel then cocked his head and looked hard down at her. "Who are you and what have you done to Buffy?"

Buffy backed off. "I _am_ Buffy, Angel... I'm just a little different. A little more."

"You've got two hearts." Angel stated.

"And two kidneys, and two hands, and two eyes... Right... Remember Halloween?" Buffy asked.

"Yeah, the kids got turned into their costumes and I wasn't able to find any of you to try and help. So I ended up just trying to keep the carnage down." Angel said.

"Well, I dressed up in a costume that night." Buffy said. "I dressed as The Doctor."

"Doctor who?" Angel asked, apparently genuine.

"Just the Doctor. He's a Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey on a show called Doctor Who." Buffy explained. Apparently Angel didn't watch much television. "He has two hearts and a way of cheating death known as regeneration. Apparently I kept a few things of his from Halloween. "

Angel narrowed his eyes. "I see. I'm going to need to think about this a bit. Sorry." The vampire turned and walked away. Buffy couldn't find it in herself to go after him.

* * *

Buffy scowled slightly as she entered the Bronze. She couldn't really blame Angel for how he had reacted. She _was_ different, as much as she wanted to try to deny it to herself. She was more than just the Slayer now. She had the body and mind of a Gallifreyan. She wasn't even human anymore. That might have been an issue. Still, despite Angel's objections, she was going to at least try and enjoy tonight. She was young. She was still _Buffy_. She'd let herself live in her delusions for a bit more. Pretend to be human.

As Buffy approached the table, Xander noticed her first. "Hey Buffy, welcome back. Why the face? It's long."

Willow looked and frowned. "Are you okay? The vampire didn't..."

"No, he's dust, and the girl's fine. It doesn't matter, no big. I'm just not really feeling the Bronze anymore tonight. I think I'll go patrol." Buffy said with a sigh.

Xander and Willow started to pack up their things. Xander spoke up. "Hold up, we'll come with you."

Buffy smiled. "You don't have to."

"But we want to, Buffy." Willow put on her coat. "Now let's go get some weapons and mount up."

Buffy nodded. The pair really were good friends to her. She wanted to show them the universe, time and space. Unfortunately she had no TARDIS, and she was stuck here on the Hellmouth. Traveling with them would be so much fun, she knew it would. So she and her friends went to get armed for the night.

* * *

Despite the fact that there had been little vampire action the past few nights, the Scoobies still took their patrol through multiple cemeteries before ending up in Sunnydale Restfield Cemetery. Willow had chosen to be armed with a spiked club, Xander had his axe. Both had holy water flasks and wooden stakes on their belts. Buffy, for her part carried a pair of stakes, and in her pocket she had something else she'd been working on. It wasn't complete just yet, as she still needed to get a couple parts for it, but if it were needed, it would work for a short while before the fuse coupling she had in it would blow out.

The three of them didn't talk much this patrol, moving more like a cohesive unit as they combed the cemetery for any hostile demonic life. Thus far the night had turned up nothing. Nothing other than that one vampire at the Bronze anyway. Buffy knew something had to be up.

"It's kinda eerie, y'know?" Xander spoke up.

"What is?" Willow asked.

"The quiet. Usually by this time, there's at least four or five vampires out fighting, and that's on a normal quiet night." Xander said. "Not to mention the demons. We haven't seen a single-"

Xander was cut off by a roar from the other side of the cemetery. Buffy immediately took off in a run toward it. Xander and Willow weren't that far behind. Anything that made a roar like that was probably a human killer, but that didn't exactly sound like it was roaring to intimidate. No, to Buffy's trained ears, it sounded like it was roaring out of fear. Buffy dashed through the graveyard, jumping gravestones and dodging mausoleums before she came upon the source of the roar.

The demon was at least eight feet tall, its teeth razor-sharp. It had blood-red eyes, scaled skin thick enough to give the impression of armor. A set of dorsal scales ran down its back to the tip of its two foot tail, and a pair of horns adorned its head along the central region. It had hooked claws that gave off the delightful stench of rotting flesh. The demon was definitely something Buffy would probably have had to kill.

However, it was already lying on the ground when Buffy got there. Unmoving, unbreathing, unblinking it stared at the sky. Buffy moved forward and poked at it with her foot. Yep. The demon was already dead.

Buffy bent down to take a closer look at the corpse. There weren't any visible wounds on it. No sign of struggle, and the flesh on the claws was at least a few days old. She'd probably have had to kill it, but that didn't mean that it should have died this way. Demons didn't tend to get heart attacks before she managed to kill it. Plus there was that taste in the air.

"Way to go Buffy!" Xander encouraged.

"Yeah, you took it down already!" Willow started. "Didn't you?"

Buffy ignored her friends as she continued to examine the body. "It's dead, but it was when I got here. Something this size wouldn't be scared of much..." Three piles of dust sat near the demon. Vampire ash? No. What she was thinking could not have happened.

"What's going on, Buffy?" Xander asked.

It just couldn't be. It was impossible, but the evidence didn't lie. There was a single burn mark about the size of a quarter on a scale on the demon's chest. Combined with the taste of ionized particles in the air...

Buffy stood and looked to her friends. "The demon wasn't just killed. It was exterminated."

* * *

Chapter End.

Author's notes: Well, this was a fun chapter, wasn't it? Thanks to my idea helpers, Light02 and Stratagemini, and thanks to the SpaceBattles forums for reading this first. Also, say hello to the beginning of the first arc.


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